Well, 2020 will certainly be a year we won’t forget! If anyone had predicted at the start of the year that we would have spent half of it locked down in our homes, that our hands would be red raw with overuse of antiseptic hand-gel, that we wouldn’t be able to hug (and possible even see) our loved ones and that we would all be wearing masks, I think we would have had them committed!
2020 : A year we won’t forget
And yet, here we are!
It also makes me think of those career interview questions “Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?” I very much doubt that anyone asked that in 2015 would have got it right!
However, I want to finish the year on a positive note and so, I want to share with you today all the good things I have learned from 2020.
To let go of the things I can’t control
Holding on to things we can’t control can cause us a great deal of stress and unhappiness. It also keeps us from growing, living a balanced life and feeling fulfilled, and yet many of us act as if we have control over our environment and other people.
The biggest lesson I learned in 2020 was that in reality, the only thing we have control over is ourselves!
Yes, it can be incredibly stressful and upsetting to feel at the whim of the outside world and susceptible to things we can’t control, including the COVID pandemic. And often, our instinctive reaction is to try and protect ourselves from (what feels like) certain doom.
So, we try to make sense out of chaos, predict outcomes and hold on to everything that is familiar, even if it’s not working for us!
But, the truth is that we can control very little in life. Covid pandemic aside, there are so many other things we can’t control even in areas of our life we’re supposed to, such as the work place and our relationships. And going back to the beginning, we have no control over our start in life, where we are born, our parents, our education…….
When faced with this, some people (myself included until now) will enter control-freak mode, thinking that if we can control enough we can avoid potential harm. But, actually we’re just adding to our stress and overwhelm!
When we accept that we can’t control the outside world, we can start to let go of the worry, and begin investing that worrying time into something more beneficial, such as walking in nature, doing a spa day at home, starting a new hobby and spending time with our family.
Because, whether we like it or not, bad things, like Covid, are going to happen and accepting that makes it a lot easier when they do. Which brings me to my second point.
That we always have a choice
I may not have any control over the event (in this case the pandemic) but I DO have a choice as to how I react to it.
We always have choices, and we are exercising them every minute and every second of every day, from the moment we wake up!
We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand
Randy Pausch
You may already have heard of The success formula:
E + R = O (Events + Responses = Outcome)
The idea is that every outcome you experience in life is the result of how you have responded to an earlier event in your life. Likewise, if you want to change the results you get in the future, you must change how you respond to events in your life … starting today.
When people don’t like the outcomes they are experiencing, most choose to blame the event (E) for their lack of results (O).
In other words, you blame the pandemic, the government, the economy, the weather, your boss, your wife or husband, the lack of support, and so on – but never yourself!
Of course, these factors exist and of course they have an effect on you. However, the key is not the external conditions and circumstances. It’s how you choose to respond (R).
If you want a different outcome(O) you need to change your response (R) to the event (E). You can change your thinking, your behaviour, your beliefs and your actions; ie: what you believe, think and do.
If you keep thinking that you have no choice over your situation, that’s exactly how it will remain. You will always remain powerless over your life circumstances. Nothing’s going to change until you take ownership for what’s going on in your life.
So, to give a very simple example, it would be easy to blame Covid for not meeting your fitness goals because the gym was closed. So Covid triggered the closing of the gym (E) and the outcome (O) was that you didn’t meet your fitness goals because you didn’t go to the gym (R).
But, what if you changed your response (R) and started running, doing home workouts, subscribed to a YouTube Zumba class….. there are a number of actions you could take that would enable you to have the desired outcome of fitness (O).
To practice gratitude
The benefits of practicing gratitude are well documented. People who regularly practice gratitude by taking time to reflect upon the things they’re thankful for experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems.
Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.
Oprah winfrey
Research by UC Davis psychologist Robert Emmons, author of “Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier“, shows that simply keeping a gratitude journal—regularly writing brief reflections on moments for which we’re thankful—can significantly increase well‑being and life satisfaction.
And this brings me to an invitation to jumpstart 2021 with a fun challenge!
I will be holding a “New Year, New You” free Challenge for the month of January, in collaboration with Ceri Wheeldon from Fabafterfifty.co.uk, where we will be inspiring women to take daily small steps out of their comfort zone and try new things. This will include lifestyle and style challenges and will be a lot of fun.
I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.
J. B. Priestly
In the meantime, if you would like some tips on how to cope with lockdown and coming out of lockdown, have a look here and here. And, if any of you are struggling, please reach out as I’m happy to offer any support I can!
What a great reflective post! I did one as well: https://www.mariannyc.com/
Thanks Mariann! Heading over to read yours now! xo
Happy New Year to you and your family.
New Post – https://www.exclusivebeautydiary.com/2020/12/beauty-of-organization.html
Thank you and the same to you x
Yes, this year give to all of us amazing lessons. I really enjoy reading your post. Merry Christmas.
New Post – https://www.exclusivebeautydiary.com/2020/12/kilian-woman-in-gold.html
Thank you so much! Hope you had a wonderful Christmas and wishing you a happy 2021 x
I think gratitude was the main lesson for me. Of course we learn about who is a real friend, who cares about keeping you alive by not putting you in risk, and that sort of thing.
I hope 2021 wil be very joyful 🙂
Lindifique
Thank you Natalia! I hope 2021 will be very joyful too xo
Such a uplifting and motivating post. I agree with everything you wrote. I think there is a lot we can learn from 2020. Learning to let go can be so important. It is also important to remember that we always have a choice. We cannot control everything but we can control our own actions. I also agree that being grateful is important. There is always something we can be grateful for. In that sense, gratitude is very important.
Thank you Ivana! So glad you agree with me xo
Good luck with your new business launch.
I think this year has definitely taught me to appreciate the little things, and appreciate the time I can spend with friends and family (because this year it has not been a lot). xo
Thank you Sarah! I have definitely learned to appreciate the little things and enjoy time with friends and family this year too! xo
Wonderful post! This trying year has made me appreciate a lot of little things I once took for granted.
xoxo
Lovely
http://www.mynameislovely.com
Thanks Lovely! Same here! I have definitely learned to appreciate the little things this year xo
Oh how exciting you will be launching a new business! no matter what the future holds I think you will be very busy indeed next year! it’s certainly been an unpredictable year but like you I’ve been lucky enough to see some positives from it, I’m working from home and I have been able to through the whole thing so I’m very privileged indeed! 🙂
Hope that you are having a wonderful Christmas week 🙂
Thank you Mica! I’m so glad you have been able to work from home this year! Wishing you a happy new year! xo
I love your positive outlook, babe! This year definitely taught us all some serious lessons!
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
Yes, I think we all learned a lot this year, Ashley x
This is the perfect post to wrap up the year. It’s been so stressful but you bring up so many good points about how we react and manage our stress. I hope you have a wonderful holiday and I can’t wait for your reveal in January!
Jill – Doused in Pink
Thank you so much Jill! I really appreciate your feedback and support! Hope you had a wonderful holiday season and Happy New Year x
I agree, gratitude is so important. Yes, we are all ready for a new year. <3
Happy New Year! xoxo
This is so true, I think having control over one’s life is a bit of an illusion. People who have only had mostly good fortune in life think they created for themselves. But I often wonder as there are so many people who suffer misfortune and hardship through no fault of their own. So maybe it is the luck of the draw and so not too much control and the lucky people don’t realize they have no control over their lives either they just got lucky.
Allie of
http://www.allienyc.com
There is definitely an element of luck too, and so many things we can’t control. Whilst I’ve learned (or am learning) to “let go” of what I can’t control, I still want to be positive about the things I can influence. I know 2020 was a very difficult year for you, Allie, and I hope 2021 will be brighter. xo
This year has learnt us a lot ❤
Totally agree Kinga! x
It’s so good to read about the positive things Julia. Because we are so blessed and it’s important to remember that…even when things aren’t “perfect”.
XOOX
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Totally agree, Jodie! We have so many things to be thankful for! Happy 2021 xo
Yes!! I love that you mentioned that we do have a choice. there’s a lot in life we can’t control, but we approach things, how we act, etc is all up to us!
Absolutely, Rach! We always have a choice and control over out reactions! Wishing you a fabulous 2021 x
I am so excited to see what you will be offering in 2021! I like to practice gratitude in my art journal. Have a wonderful Christmas Julia!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
Thank you so much Kathrine! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and wishing you a happy, healthy and successful 2021 x
What a career you’ve had and the path you’re on is full of learning and growing not just for you but for others!! i can’t believe 2020 is almost over – but BYE! lol xo, Biana BlovedBoston
Thank you Biana! I think it’s important to keep learning and growing! Happy 2021 🙂